The number of single women in the UK opting for fertility treatments such as in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and artificial insemination has seen a remarkable increase over the past decade. According to the latest report from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), the number of single women undergoing donor insemination (DI) rose from 1,400 in 2012 to 4,800 in 2022. In addition, treatments for female couples doubled to 3,300 over the same period. Despite this surge, heterosexual couples still account for nearly 90% of all IVF procedures in the country.
Among this growing number of women choosing solo parenthood is Liv Thorne, who began her fertility journey at the age of 36. Her path to motherhood started with a Google search for “sperm donor” and “fertility clinics,” followed by a quick decision to choose a fertility clinic in London and a donor from a European sperm bank. “There’s so much to think about, and there are no right answers. Have I chosen the right donor? Who knows?” she reflects on the process.
Thorne chose intrauterine insemination (IUI) over IVF, a less invasive procedure where sperm is directly placed in the uterus during ovulation. After three unsuccessful rounds, she was disheartened but persisted. “It was something I wanted for my entire life,” she explains. “At 36, I just couldn’t wait any longer. I had spent my late twenties hoping I’d meet someone to start a family with, but it never happened.”
By the fourth attempt in 2017, Thorne was pregnant and spent the next 42 weeks with a mix of exhaustion and joy. Similarly, Mel Johnson, who also became a solo parent at 36, shares that while her preference was to have a partner, the fear of missing out on parenthood eventually outweighed the fear of doing it alone. “In the end, my fear of doing it alone became less than my fear of missing out altogether,” says Johnson, who had her daughter Daisy via IVF with a sperm donor.
Both women, now well-established in their roles as solo mothers, acknowledge that while their decision might seem difficult to some, it’s not vastly different from what many partnered parents face. Thorne points out that parenting with a partner often comes with its own set of challenges, including differing opinions on child-rearing and financial pressures. “With a partner, you might have conflicting opinions or resentment. But as a solo parent, you make all the decisions—though that can be incredibly stressful financially.”
In fact, the financial cost of solo parenthood can be overwhelming. Thorne, for instance, spent £12,000 on fertility treatments and sperm shipping, paid for by remortgaging her house. She also faced challenges balancing a short maternity leave with the high costs of childcare, leading her to sell her home and move for more affordable options. “I was lucky that I owned a house, but the financial realities of solo parenthood are much harder than I anticipated,” she admits.
Despite these challenges, both Thorne and Johnson are committed to their decision and have found fulfillment in solo parenting. Thorne, who now runs a design agency, has written a book about her experiences, Liv’s Alone: Amateur Adventures in Solo Motherhood. Both women emphasize the importance of building a support network with other solo parents, who understand the unique challenges they face. Johnson, who runs a podcast and support groups for prospective solo parents, says, “We all support each other, and I’ve built a huge support network around me. It’s brilliant for Daisy.”
The societal acceptance of solo parenthood has also evolved. Thorne’s son, Herb, now seven, is fully aware of how he came into the world. “I never want him to think that how he came into the world is something to be ashamed of,” she says. He simply tells classmates, “I don’t have a dad, I had a donor.”
While both women are grateful for their children, they are also vocal in their advocacy for greater access to fertility treatment for single women, particularly through the NHS. Currently, the lack of fertility support for single women in the UK is a significant barrier, as many have to pay out of pocket for costly treatments. Both Johnson and Thorne believe that making fertility treatment more accessible would provide more women with the opportunity to become mothers on their own terms.
“For me, it’s not about following a traditional fairytale,” says Thorne. “It’s about creating your own story, and that story can be just as beautiful, if not more so. It’s different, but it’s still wonderful.”
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