The decision to embark on parenthood as a single individual is one that has gained remarkable traction in recent years. The number of women choosing to have children on their own through in vitro fertilization (IVF) has tripled over the past decade—a trend that deeply resonates with one mother who recently welcomed her daughter via IVF.
“I was thrilled to read about the growing numbers,” she shares. “It validated my decision to start a family solo and eased my concerns about how others might perceive my daughter’s ‘different’ family structure. Knowing she’s part of an expanding group with similar beginnings fills me with joy.”
Her path to motherhood began years earlier. After a breakup in 2015, she briefly considered solo parenthood but felt overwhelmed by the complexities of selecting a sperm donor. “I didn’t really know what I was looking for,” she admits. At 33, she decided it wasn’t the right time.
Fast forward to 2021, when the pandemic and the looming milestone of her 40th birthday rekindled her desire for a child. Encouraged by a friend navigating IVF, she revisited the idea. “This time, looking at donor profiles felt exciting, not intimidating,” she recalls. A fertility test soon after confirmed no significant issues, but her doctor advised starting promptly due to her age. By November, she had begun her fertility journey.
The Financial and Emotional Commitment
Opting for IVF as a single woman required significant financial adjustments. She budgeted carefully for the treatment, maternity leave, and future childcare. The process itself was physically and emotionally taxing. “It wasn’t quick or easy,” she acknowledges, but her persistence paid off, and in August 2023, she discovered she was pregnant.
Her pregnancy was mostly smooth, save for sleepless nights and frequent bathroom trips. She opted for an elective C-section in March 2024, with her best friend as her birthing partner and her mother waiting nearby. Having moved in with her mother during pregnancy, she had invaluable daily support. “But starting this journey alone in my small London flat, I had mentally prepared to go it solo,” she explains.
She emphasizes the importance of building a support network. “Ask for help, and if you can afford it, invest in services like a cleaner or meal delivery for those overwhelming early months,” she advises.
Facing the Challenges
The mental load of single parenthood can be daunting, she admits. “Every decision, every plan—it’s all on you. But there’s a silver lining: you have full control and clarity over what needs to be done and when.”
One major concern was managing sleepless nights. “I’ve handled every night shift since my daughter was born,” she says, though she recently sought advice from a sleep consultant to improve both their routines.
A Journey of Joy
Despite the challenges, her daughter’s arrival has been a source of immense joy. From moments of quiet wonder as she watches her baby play, to the pure delight in her daughter’s face when they reunite after time apart, she cherishes it all.
Her advice to others considering solo parenthood? Start by exploring your options. “Book a fertility test. It’s not a commitment—it’s about equipping yourself with the knowledge to make future decisions.”
For her, the journey to motherhood has been life-affirming. “Every day, I’m reminded: I did it. I’m actually a mum.”
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